Ever wonder how you'd come across in an online dating profile?
Throughout our Undateable experiment we noticed some patterns. Everyone who tries to be original doesn't realize they are saying the same thing as everyone else. We were able to categories each of these into online dating "species".
Are YOU Undateable? Take this quiz to find out which online dating species YOU are.
Take the quiz at UNDATEABLE QUIZ for real time results.
When you're finished Tweet those results...Species listed below.
The Laugh Lover (Guffawitus ChortleMuncher) noun.
Chortle. Chuckle. Guffaw. Titter. Online daters just LOVE to laugh. The Laugh Lover is the most common species of online daters (usually female) who state that they love to do the one thing that literally expresses joy, in the hopes of appearing light-hearted and carefree. Chances are these Laugh Lovers cry twice as much as they laugh. Alone in their bedrooms. But on the internet they LOVE to LAUGH!!!
The Poets (Iambic Pentvomitus) noun.
Literally or figuratively these men and women are using OkCupid to write poetry and express their innermost desires. Often cheesy, they are the epitome of romance. When they say they love "The Notebook"...they are not being ironic.
Pilkunnussija (Finnish) noun.
A person who believes it is their destiny to stamp out all spelling and punctuation mistakes at the cost of popularity, self-esteem and mental well-being.
Literally: "Comma Fucker".
The Most Uninteresting Interesting Man in the World (Dos Equismas Predictimalous) noun.
This species uses quotes from pop culture badasses to appear interesting to the opposite gender. They believe they are the first person who EVER thought to say this and, thus, are completely original and hilarious. Common examples include comparisons to the Dos Equis Guy and Chuck Norris.
The Serial Killer (Assassinous Consecutivito) noun.
This is quite literally a serial killer. Their responses on dating websites clearly represent mental instability. And if they're joking, it's worse. They're just serial killers who are afraid to act and are just trolling the Internet. They should seek professional help ASAP.
The Walking Dread (Zombidiumus Creepoticus) noun.
Get ready to be inundated because this species is everywhere. They simply cannot resist putting references to the impending Zombie Apocalypse in their profile. The word zombie is used in 42% of male OkCupid profiles. So rest assured, if you date the Walking Dread, you will be safe and protected by these manly men.
The Melancholy Manipulator (GloomGothimous Schemicus) noun.
This species drops subtle or blatant hints that they are terribly depressed, thinking this will draw a sympathetic partner in. They say they are seeking happiness, but most likely want someone to wallow in misery with. "Honey, please cancel all my disappointments."